“o build relationships with horses or people you need to move slowly, persistently and react as little as possible. Don’t take their behavior personal. Sometimes you do have to get out of their way pretthy fast though.”
When most people think about horses they automatically think about climbing into a saddle and going for a ride. There are way more things to do with horses than just riding them. Horses are “spirited” animals and have ever increasing intelligences.
Although the horse is an animal, they have a life language that is reasonably easy to understand if you try. Horses make up their minds as to how they want to be loved. If you love them that way they will think more of you. If you do not love them that way then they will fear you enough to bolt. You may, however, want that horse of yours to learn to be loved in other ways.
In order to make those changes in the love language to your horse you will need patience. I think sometimes that if horses were required by the government to have proper labeling like the cleaning instructions on my shirt, part of that label would say something like “Patience Required. Warranty voided with use of impatience.” The reward for your patience is a relationship with the horse. You must slow down long enough to see and perhaps even enjoy the differences and individuality of your horse. I think the key word here in is “slow.”
To build relationships with horses or people you need to move slowly, persistently and react as little as possible. Don’t take their behavior personal. Sometimes you do have to get out of their way pretty fast though.
I learn a lot by watching my daughters handle horses. If those horses only knew how much those girls love them they would do anything they asked and those horses would invariably get what ever they wanted. I ignorantly raised my daughters without horses even though I saw that they played with action figure horses more than dolls. Once I came to my senses and bought them their first horse, I realized my stupidity. Life is easier in my house full of women because of those horses. That sounds pretty funny but I have actually experienced the truth of it.
As I see it, my daughters give the horses both positive and negative attention. The horse reacts in a positive way to both though. That is simply amazing to me. My daughters give the horses a slap when they misbehave. It’s pretty “girly” but it’s fun to watch. This doesn’t hurt the horses feelings it is simply the warning of boundaries that the horse was actually looking for. They don’t slap horses that are not their own or that they don’t have a solid relationship with and I am pretty sure that they figure it wouldn’t do any good if they did. In the same way, they are quick to rub the horse and make their voice sound like they are talking to a two year old toddler. When those girls do that I think you can see the horse’s ego stand straight up if you look hard enough. This seems to also draw the boundaries for the horse to work and live in. Makes the horse happy. Every ranch deserves happy horses.
I try to draw from my experiences with horses an ability to see more of what people are like and what people need. When you have the responsibility of caring for several large spirited animals like I do, somewhere you come to the conclusion that you have a grave responsibility. That fact can hit you pretty hard one day. Unhappy horses are no more fun to be around than unhappy people. I don’t want anyone or anything in my care, presence or responsibility to have to live in an unhappy state of being. Life is too good and too important for that. Besides, all it takes is effort and patience. (I’m not sure if that is the right order or not.)
Now what I have said here is that horses and people have a kind of language of love. It behooves us to not only realize that but also to learn that language and use it. Although there are similarities that flow through the individuals of each species, every individual has its own love language and it would be best for you to learn that language so that everyone can live happier.
When my daughters draw the boundaries for their horses, those horses don’t see them as negatives but positives. You see, they instinctively want and need a leader to set those boundaries for the purpose of protection. Their instincts tell them that there are many wild things out there to sneak up on them in order to have them for dinner. That is why they are generally not insulted when they are chastised into a different place or attitude. It means safety. That is a part of their language of love. “If you love me give me boundaries,” says the horse. “I’ll test them so that I know them and I will be secure if they are secure.”
In the same way, we ought to have patience with the people around us. Boundaries are a good thing as long as they are not a beating stick. Just like with the horses, all of us humans need boundaries too. It causes us to walk in a sense of being loved so that we are confident and secure. Children should have boundaries all their growing years. They will appreciate it more as they grow whether they think of it that way or not. It is a valid part of the love language that makes us loving and cooperative. Security and protection from evil produce confidence in life and the result is happiness. That’s not all it takes to be happy but I’m pretty sure that you can’t be truly happy without these important ingredients any more than my horses can.
All horses are beautiful, but the happy ones are the greatest. The happy ones are the ones that know they are loved. When they know they are loved, they love in return. That’s what makes for happy ranches.
